I have always believed I’ve lost many people I loved. But love is a very strong word. You can love in different ways in different amounts, but to really love someone…man, that’s serious.
I’m not kidding. When I’ve had my heart broken in the past, the first thing I’d say is I really loved him. I really cared. But life is funny because you keep moving and sometimes you’re able to find a way to “love” again.
But out of all the people I claimed to love, I never once said “I love you”.
I surely felt the impulse to, and I really could’ve genuinely probably loved that person in that instant. But this is so different. So beyond the realm I’m comfortable in. The point where it is actual chaos in my head.
You said it first. And I still waited. Waited until I was fucked up and couldn’t hold t back. And then it was exchanged more, given the unforeseen situations we placed ourselves in. But I meant it. And when I said it, I felt guilty. Guilty I allowed myself, finally, age 25, to say I love you to someone.
I know you’ve loved people unlike I have. You’ve gone through things I haven’t. Saying it for you is not the same for me. And I can’t be mad at you. And I shouldn’t be mad at myself. But I am. I’m so mad.
I love you. I want you to know how hard that is for me to accept. Because I am most vulnerable right now. And everything is scaring me. And I am doing things I don’t want to do, and feel as though I have no control over it.
The one thing I’ve been most scared of in life is right in front of me. And it’s more terrifying than i imagined. It hurts more than I could’ve ever prepared myself for.
Hi! you can call me Sam :]
Caring Lover Not A Fighter Happy Down to Earth Smiling One Of A Kind 420 Friendly☮
What I Live For:
Trance=Life Above&Beyond♥ Anjunabeats Raving Girls♥
